Fear and Insecurity
by Kokoro Miwa
Summary: What if Sebastian didn't have his soul? Betrayal is imminent to Ciel. The only way to escape it is to die. But is that really the only way? Maybe not.


Hey, to all of you who decided to read this. THANK YOU!

This is my second fanfiction~~~ Ureshi, ne? I'm totally counting… Hey, I guess I've got low self confidence…

First: It's in third person, and you can hear Sebas-chan and Ciel's thoughts. There was a word for this kind of thing… but I forgot. However, though in third person, it's still like a POV thing. One part you'll only hear Ciel's thoughts, then another will be Sebastian's thoughts, but all still in third person… Gomen if this is confusing.

Second: Forgive me if anyone sounds OOC, ESPECIALLY CIEL. I know he's strong and all, but I really want this hurt/comfort side of him… He sort of ended up acting like Alois, plus some suicidal-ness… Ohoho…

Third: I really want to say this is AU, but it more or less isn't…. It might have some interesting hints of it…?

** Instead of Sebastian normally putting clothes on Ciel, I made him take Ciel to the bathroom for a bath**

*** The skeleton scene is… random… and doesn't really make sense… ^_^;***

**** I ended up switching between Bocchan and Young Master now and then… Forgive my inconsistency****

Fourth: Please Read and Review~ (Or do whatever people normally do for these sort of things…)

**I do not own Kuroshitsuji and all characters rightfully belong to the author.**

Fear and Insecurity

Ciel had never felt fear after _that_ happened. His loyal butler would stay by his side, always protecting him. He knew he would die sometime; he knew that it would be by Sebastian's hands, but what if it _wouldn't_ be? What if Sebastian didn't get to him in time?

"Bocchan, are you awake? It's time for breakfast." Sebastian's voice. So deep, melodic, and always tranquil. Ciel wondered if it ever got frantic. The waft of tea flooded the room.

"Mm… Yeah, I'm awake. Chrysanthemum tea today?" He rubbed his eyes, trying to get his eyes to adjust to the light shining through the window.

"Yes, bocchan, now please come over here so you can eat."

Ciel slid over to the side of the bed, taking the tea that was handed to him and sipping delicately. He finished the rest of his food as well and stood up. "Escort me to the bathroom. I need a bath," he ordered.

"Of course, bocchan."

"I shall leave now." Sebastian's voice echoed in the large master bathroom.

Ciel didn't answer but he could hear the door close, meaning he was alone; he was in peace among the soapy pink bubbles in the spacious tub. It was surprisingly quiet today. No explosions, screams, or loud arguments littered the morning air. He wondered where those three troublesome stooges were. It was best not to wonder too much, he decided as he climbed out to get a back scrubber. Wrapping himself with a towel, he made his way over to the closet. On his way, he passed the mirror, and stopped to look at himself and scowled. As small as ever. When would he grow up? Probably never. If he'd succeeded his wish, Sebastian would have his soul.

_As naïve as ever_, a voice whispered in his ear. He whipped around, searching for the owner of the voice, but no one was there. He turned his attention back to the mirror, but saw his own image, only grotesque and terrifying. The mirror showed his aging, more and more, until he was an old man, frail and weak, then mirrored his flesh, melting off his body, dropping to the floor until all that was left was a skeleton. His skeleton. A silky voice laughed in his ear._ Are you really that naïve, Ciel Phantomhive_? _Everyone is going to betray you, you have no one. What good are a contract and some meaningless aesthetics?_

"No… Stop! NO!" Ciel screamed, fisting his hair in his hands and falling to the floor. He shrieked at the horror display on the mirror, but couldn't take his eyes away from it. Falling to the floor, he stared at the image, which continued to repeat, _Trust no one, or face betrayal. Trust no one, or face—_

"Bocchan!" The door swung open with force, it's hinges protesting. "Are you all right?"

"Don't touch me!" Ciel shouted. His eyes finally pulled free of the illusion as he sat with his back to the mirror. "Don't come near me!" He warned. _That's right, trust nobody. They'll all betray you eventually. Tell them to stay away. Don't let them touch you, you who has been betrayed, sold, tainted—filled with sin._ "That's an order," he said with his trembling voice, "An order."

What on earth had happened to the young master? One moment he was peacefully resting among the bubbles in his bath; the other he was screaming and shouting. Sebastian paced, clearly worried about his young master. His worrying immediately stopped when the door to the bathroom creaked open. Out walked his young master, clean and tidy, with his clothes already on. That's strange, he thought, he could never have done that himself.

"Young master, I see that you are fine. Shall I review today's schedule?"

"No need," he replied, avoiding his eyes, "I already know it." Without so much as that single snipped of a conversation, he left him standing there. Something was definitely wrong.

_That's right_, the voice whispered, _Avoid him, he can only hurt you._

"What is this about?" Ciel said aloud, walking through the empty hallways.

_I'm just here to protect you—no one will betray you now._

"How do you know?"

_I can tell you how to make no one betray you—no one leave your side._

"Tell me," he ordered.

_You must kill yourself._

That was unbelievable. It was _crap_. "Why would I kill myself!" he shouted at the voice.

_Life is full of betrayal. How else do you escape it?_

Ciel was silent. How else could he escape betrayal?

_All you have to do is die._

"Get out." Ciel couldn't take it anymore. This voice, how did it get into his head in the first place? "Get out!" he said, voice rising. "Didn't you hear me! I said get out!"

_You'll see soon. _The voice faded away.

Ciel briskly made his way to the study room and sat in his chair, looking through paperwork. He couldn't concentrate. The morning scene was supposed to be quiet and calm; instead it was hectic and confusing. The more he thought, the more confusing it got. But what if the voice was right? Maybe Sebastian… wasn't to be trusted. He could betray him any time. Dying didn't hurt right? Maybe…

He opened a drawer on the side of his desk. A dagger, gleaming and sharp, seemed to stare back at him. He picked it up, admiring it's glow, and placed it on his neck, closing his eyes. Just maybe…

"Bocchan!" Someone flew into the room. A hard tug and the dagger at his neck was gone. Standing in front of him was Sebastian.

"Unfortunately, I cannot let you die." With a flick of his wrist, the dagger he had been holding flew across the room, embedding itself in the wall.

"You'll betray me anyways, right? Why not just let me die now?"

"You have a purpose to live. That is why I chose you. I _will_ fulfill your wish."

"My wish? Fuck that. I need—mmph!" Ciel's voice was muffled when he felt someone's lip being pressed on top of his mouth. It was Sebastian.

His butler took the opportunity to slide his tongue in his mouth while it was still open from talking. Ciel responded, trying to push back, but in the end, he closed his eyes, their tongues twisting together in a dance. Before Ciel knew it, he came up for air, breaking the kiss.

"Why—"

"You're worried about something right? I can't have my lovely young master worried. I can take away that pain." He paused as he took of his jacket, giving him a mischievous smile.

"Wait! Ah…"

Sebastian's tongue encircled Ciel's ear as he bit down on it softly, earning a small moan. He slowly moved down, biting on his neck, tasting the red, ruby colored juice that flowed from the wound.

"Young master, shall I continue?"


End file.
